Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Siblings Birthday Luck!

(July 31, 2008)

Well Baby Doll, we're heading around the bend, or over the hump as they say! Or your cute baby bump!

We celebrated your Sibling's birthday yesterday, and I think that brought you some good luck! Fabulous news!

We saw your scan today and everything is just fine! YaaY!!!!

Your beautiful heart rate was 150 BPM. Renal Pylectasis is extremely dominant in little boys. Your Dad and I are just thrilled that it has cleared. Your ultrasound scan was just perfect, and even though the fluid in your Renal Pelvis is completely cleared, combined with your heart rate, I just know you're a boy! I keep telling your Dad that..he just smiles. I know he is secretly hoping you're a boy! As they say, "Momma knows best, lol"

In all honesty, we just want you happy & healthy, little boy or little girl.


Single fetus, Cephalic presentation

Anterior placenta, no previa Gr. 1.

Fetal growth & AF normal

No fetal malformation

Follow up at 36 weeks

I Love looking at your scans! I Love looking at you, sweet child of mine!

Money is NO Object..Baby--Priceless!

(July 21, 2008)
Prior to leaving for Anand, we received an email asking if we would like to pay $125 USD for a Baby Shower for our Surrogate. This kind of hit us like a bomb. I am NOT proud of how we reacted to this request, but such is life. You cannot turn back time, only place a positive where there was a negative..a Big Boo Boo on our part!

The following is the email we received!


I want to ask you if you would like to do a baby shower ceremony over here. We do it at the surrogate house in the 7th months.
The whole event costs about 125 USD i.e. 5000 Rs.
This is done according to Hindu ritual, where in a priest performs the ceremony prays for the safe baby delivery for mother & child both. The inmates of Surrogate house will have a nice lunch your surrogate & other surrogates receive gifts. This whole can be done in total 125 USD if you agree to it let me know.


Dr.Nayna Patel

Here was our answer to this request..."not one of our proudest moments!"

Dear Dr. Patel,

My wife just showed me your email about a Baby Shower for our Surrogate. We don't think that S needs a baby shower.
We will pray for S and the baby, and we pray God will watch over her and the baby, and all of us.
My wife is the Mother of our child, not our Surrogate.
I believe you counsel these women not to become attached to our child. Don't you think a baby shower contradicts this? Do you really think this is wise?
$125 USD or 5000 Rupees is very expensive for the Surrogate's and I can't imagine that this is done on a normal basis. They could not afford this extra money, and neither can we.
We have given her many gifts now plus gifts of money.
We are not allowed to talk to her as per her request..so you must understand this is very hard on us, and very isolating.

We paid double the money, that you asked for when we were having Twins...very shortly after we paid this money, one of our Twins died.

We should have alot of money left over in our account with you, since this is a single pregnancy now, but we have paid double.
We also paid for the first conception that failed. Paid all funds over again toward the second transfer, for a positive pregnancy.

So far in total with, your prices, flights, hotels, food, cell phone, fee and extra incentives of 2000 rupees to the first surrogate S, which didn't work. Then we paid extra for life insurance. We still have delivery and meds costs. So far this is costing us almost $40,000 USD. These prices are much higher then we expected. They are becoming very competitive to doing this in Canada. We appreciate everything you are doing for us...and everything you have done for us. We are appreciative of your knowledge and expertise in your field. We are very happy that we are having a baby.
You gave us a date to do this again for another baby, which we will need our money to do this again.
Please respect that we have paid enough, and our custom in Canada is the baby shower is not paid for by the Mother, which is my wife.
Best Regards.

OMG, I felt so guilty and horrible after this letter. Dr. Patel's response was very -- chilly. We should have known better than to upset her! Especially on the principal of money. It wasn't even thousands! It was $125 dollars for heaven sake! What the hell were we thinking?
I got on the computer and my fingers just flew. I begged her for forgiveness, and explained that we didn't realize how this was a sacred ritual, and that we needed our surrogate to have a Baby Shower along with the rest of the surrogate's. That we understood how important this was.
Needless to say, "don't piss off Dr. Patel!" She is an angel, but a stubborn angel...lol.

She replied, "No, there wouldn't be a Baby Shower for your Surrogate!"
I had to write her two more emails begging her to please reconsider, and do this for me, and for our Surrogate. We were wrong, and didn't understand India's customs, but we did now. We know that our Surrogate must be blessed by the Priest. This now became very important to me. I didn't want our surrogate to be the only surrogate who's Intended Parent's were the only "idiots" who didn't let her have a baby shower! It was a little party and ritual for her. A special day for her, so what was the big deal? The principal of paying $125 USD? Who cares? Really! It was the "Principle" of a little bit of money, which we could easily afford. For God sake, what were we thinking? This woman was carrying our child!
Anyway, the third email was the charm. Dr. Patel did have a party for "S", and we were happy. I was happy. No, I was thrilled and relieved! I vowed we would never disagree over money again. I didn't care what it cost! Our child is PRICELESS!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Getting Ready for Reality!

(July 17, 2008)

Well, our sweet child, your Mom & Dad are getting prepared to come to India for your delivery. I am planning on flying in earlier then your Father to bond with you.

I have your brother's music box to play repeatedly for you. I have my special little lullaby that I used to sing to your siblings that would amazingly calm them. Your suitcase is packed..mine isn't ..lol.

Hopefully our Surrogate is happy with having me under foot 24/7...lol. I doubt it! ..and maybe not quite 24/7. I want to fly in and get a home in a gated community prepareing for your arrival. Hitesh showed us a unit during our initial visit that looked just fine. A home that would be quite comfortable for all of us, at least until we got you home. I had no idea at the time how much I would kiss the ground of our own home.
Yes, home sweet home & there's no place like it, and so on, and so on!

I was thrilled to see alot of security on the grounds. It was like this little Shangri-la away from all of the hustle and bustle of Anand. A sanctuary that I would be happy to live in until we could come home. The town houses were all painted white, with concrete walkways, lovely flowers, fresh air, and sweet, sweet solitude. This would suit me just fine!

Your Dad and I were hoping so badly that we wouldn't have to stay a lengthy time, and that we wouldn't be required to undergo DNA testing. I mean the Doctor's paperwork & word was enough right? Plus U. S. couples didn't have to go through DNA testing and were usually in and out in just two or three weeks. We shouldn't be too far off!

I wrote to Dr. Patel asking her some questions regarding her thoughts on time frames, the accommodations etc. Her reply sent us into somewhat of a bit of a tail spin.


1/ The expected date is 6th October please come here by 20th September
2/ As long as you get visas for the babies you have to stay - may be 3 months.
3/ If the baby is ok, you can take her in 2 days with you
4/ Paperwork and DNA is in Delhi.
5/ The townhouse is air-conditioned housed will you share house with another Canadian couple?
This way you will have company share the cost.

Dr.Nayna Patel

1/ The first thing that made our hair stand on end was "a stay maybe 3 months!" What the Frickin Frack was that??? 3 MONTHS! No Frickin Frackin WAY....
2/ Taking YOU to our sanctuary in 2 days sounded great to me!
3/ Going to Delhi was alright, even though we had been dealing with a very kind, helpful man in Mumbai, and when we had dealt with Delhi they were a bunch of "cold fish!" Not Impressed!!!
4/ What about our "sanctuary!" "Our Shangri-la." Not that we minded sharing with someone else since we didn't want to leave anyone out in the cold..so to speak..especially in India! However, we were expecting to have this house to ourselves. How would this other couple feel about sharing a home...with everyone's screaming babies. eeeeek!

Your Dad and I talked everything over. Having someone with us would be nice as long as the house was big. The company actually would be great. I would feel alot safer that way. If we ended up there 3 months, then so be it. It wasn't what we wanted, but whatever is going to be!

At least we knew what to look forward to, and we were a little more educated about what was going to happen.

We needed to stay focused and just move forward. Next stop, India!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Scanned again!

(June 13, 2008)

After these scans I emailed Dr. Patel and even spoke to the Doctor who does the Sonograms about your conditon. They both reasurred me that you were fine. Everything else is good, and your beautiful little heartbeat is at 148 bpm. However, I am still researching this, little one.


S is fine & staying at surrogate house Nadiad with Nirmala nurse.

Mild pelviccetesis of kidney is not of any significance.

We will follow up her scan on 30th July.

Even the fetal medicine specialist said that ignore this finding.

Dr. Nayna Patel

I am somewhat relieved after this email and speaking with the Doctor's directly. However, nobody can actually tell what the outcome will be. I am saying my prayer's this clears on its own and that you will be fine.

I also came across an excellent forum that was strictly on this topic. Alot of people had already had their babies and wrote back to say that their baby was very healthy and that this cleared on its own. Their was maybe one or two that it didn't...out of hundreds on this forum. So I am not sighing yet...not quite yet.

(July 1, 2008)
Our updated Scan report came in. Scan Report (June 30th, 2008).

A Live Pregnancy. Single Fetus.
Mild Fullness of both Renal Pelvis, No dialation of calices.
RT - renal pelvis - 4.1 mm. Lt. - renal pelvis 5.2 mm.
Possiblility of Physiological or extrarenal type renal pelvis.
Normal Amniotic fluid. UB is well seen & not dialated.

Now both renal pelvis' have fluid. Your Dad and I are so worried about you. This is not the news we were hoping for. We thought this might have cleared, not gotten worse. I'm a wreck sweetiepie..an absolute wreck!
All we can do is wait now & pray that this changes for the good. A clear scan would make me happy.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

A Whole New Story!

(June 12, 2008)

Well May was GREAT! No news is good news...right?
On June 11th you had another ultrasound scan done.
We received it on June 12th.
All was good on it until I read the bottom..."the comment" box.

Mild Pelviectesis of left kidney noted.
Follow up at 34 weeks.

Something gutwrenching hit my stomach. Mild Pelviectasis!
All I could see was something wrong with your kidney. Fluid on the pelvis of his kidney, at least mild at this point! This was not the time to be negative. It was mild so that was good! It normally fixes itself before birth and doesn't become a problem. Or it could get worse, and once you are born there would be a pending surgery..or worse. We tried to stay positive and just see what happens.
(Pelviectasis or Fetal pelviectasis or pyelectasis typically consists of a mild enlargement of the central area, or “pelvis,” of the kidney. It's when a tube from the kidney gets kinked.) It ususally corrects itself. Praying it does.

We were worried sick though...not kidney problems. Not our little baby! All we could do was watch for the next scan..and wait! I tried not to think about it..yeah right! I couldn't wait for the next scan to see if it had cleared on its own.

One thing I did know was that Renal Pylectasis is extremely dominant in little boys ...and since Indian Law prevents the Doctor from telling Parents if it is a boy or girl ... I didn't need the Doctor to tell me now...pretty sure you are a boy. However, little girls get this too, so I couldn't be positive.
I was pretty sure though. Oh, and by the way little sweetheart, your heartrate on this scan was 132 bpm...also indicitive of a little boy. I was pretty convinced. I told your Dad what I thought...he chuckled..he thinks your Mom is pretty funny!

I will tell you that we will be thrilled for a little boy, or a little girl ... just as long as you're healthy!

I tried to keep busy, just not to think ... I must not be busy enough because I just couldn't stop thinking about it.
It's just that it's so hard not being near you, feeling you kick, thousands of miles away from you. So extremely isolating! I was ready to hop on the next plane.

Smooth Sailing!

(May, 2008)

Well my sweet child, May has been pretty uneventful. YaaY!
You are growing like a bad weed..lol..and Doctor Patel says that you are a big baby.
I've always had big babies..so you are my typical whopper. Usually between 8.5 and 10 pounds. They say each baby is bigger then the last, so you should be a nice big dumpling. I can't wait to hold you in my arms.
I Love You So!

Friday, June 26, 2009

You had me at Hello!

(April, 2008)
We used to go crazy waiting for news of you, and our surrogate. Sometime's it just didn't seem real, especially since we lost your twin. It was so odd! Unreal, like I was in a fog. It was like after we lost your twin that our pregnancy was gone! It was like for a split second we would forget we were still pregnant. That you were growing strong in her womb, when it should have been mine. Don't get me wrong my sweet child, I am forever thankful to this beautiful lady who carried you for me. I just wanted to feel you growing inside of me.

I remember thinking of you and smiling, loving thoughts of you .. Amazing YOU!
Thriving, and giving us a reason to smile!
We were so used to the idea of being pregnant & having you and your twin that when we lost one of you...it was like losing everything..both of you..but we didn't.
Filled with sorrow...but yet so elated! It played with our minds...
We still had you! Thank God! We still had you!

We used to email Dr. Patel to check up on you...probably drove her nuts..lol.
We would get the simplest answer back.
A little frustrating, but at least we knew you were doing so well.

S is fine & resting with us.
Dr.Nayna Patel

As long as you were good and S was good..we were good too.

The next few months were a flurry of activity. We were so busy, which was so good. Kept our minds off of worry. Damned worrying! It never ends.


S & the baby are fine. Scan on 31/3/08 with a sonologist & Double Marker blood test, will send you the report.

Dr.Nayna Patel

Scan, 31/3/08
Two Sac - Single Fetus
Comment: A Live Pregnancy.


Next up, our Double Marker blood test.
Trisomy 21 screening 1:9750
Risk for Trisomy 18 <1:10000

Low Risk for Trisomy 21 & 18


Triple Marker blood test results.
Trisomy 21 Screening.

The calculated risk for Trisomy 21 is below the cutoff which represents a low risk.
After the result of the Trisomy 21 test it is expected that more than 10,000 women with the same data there is one woman with a Trisomy 21 pregnancy

Trisomy 18 Screening.
The calculated risk for Trisomy 18 is <1:10000>
Neural Tube Defects Screening (NTD)

The corrected MoM AFP (1.38) is located in the low risk area for neural tube defects.
The calculated risk for Neural Tube Defects is 1:6128 which indicates a low risk.

WHEW!! It felt like I had been holding my breath forever. Both the Double Marker and Triple Marker blood tests were over. I know it only has around a 65% accuracy, but I was very happy with the results.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Didn't Kiss & Tell

We decided early on in our pregnancy that we were not going to tell anyone that we were pregnant until the three month mark.

What a mistake! I would never do that again. It robs you of your pregnancy, your fun, your bragging rights, most of all if something goes wrong with your pregnancy..if you lose your pregnancy. It's like it never existed. It's like your child never existed! This is so wrong and very painful on so many levels.

We were having a blast! I remember my husband pulling up in front of Toys R Us and I couldn't believe it. I kept saying, "what are we doing here? I haven't been here in years!" ..but all I could do was laugh. He was so funny! We shopped til we dropped, however we only bought a few things. It was always in the back of our minds that something could go wrong. We had so much fun looking for two of everything!

When we got to the checkout there was this girl..about 20ish. I noticed a sign that said you would get a free gift if you registered in the baby department. So I asked her about it. She said after looking me over (thinking I was too old to be pregnant)...silly girl..lol. I could just read her thoughts.
She continued to say, "well, that is for the person having the baby." I said, "you mean the Mother?" She said, "yes." I said, "well then I'd like to register for my TWINS!" You can imagine the look on her face..too priceless!

Anyway, we felt like two kids in the baby department..scanning two of everything. It took us over two hours..we had so much fun. Then your Dad took me out for dinner...well I was too worn out to cook...right!

We still weren't announcing that we were pregnant..let alone twins, but did tell our immediate family, and a few close friends. Your Grandmother was thrilled! Everyone was very happy for us..and we were so happy...especially letting them hear both of your heartbeats that I taped when we called Dr. Patel at our first scan. I listen to it over and over...amazing!

Well a couple of months passed and we were sticking our toe in the waters, and starting to tell people that we were expecting twins. I just loved saying it.
At this time we were also getting ready for your Grandmothers Big Birthday! I wanted to have a special birthday for her..she is pretty amazing you know..the greatest!

On Gramma's birthday we decided to call Dr. Patel, just to see how you both were doing. To our shock they had just finished doing an ultrasound scan on our surrogate "S" and your siblings little heart had stopped beating. NO WAY!!! We just couldn't believe it...and your Dad and I couldn't stop crying. We were a complete mess...just a mess. We just couldn't figure it out. What happened! Both of you were just fine! Were we going to lose you too! We were now terrified, and mortified together. We were crushed...our hearts were crushed. I question the ultrasounds, and we told Dr. Patel that we wanted no more unnecessary scans. We were terrifed for you, little one..we just couldn't lose you too!
I prayed to God and the Virgin Mary for your safety, and to hold our little one in heaven, until I got there to hold my baby in my arms.

We kept a smile on that night, your gramma's birthday. I'm sure my eyes were so puffy, but we laughed with her. She didn't notice, and we didn't want her to know right now. We wanted nothing but love and happiness around her. This was her special day...our day of hell. If she only knew!
We didn't do well after, and waited to hear news of you...We just wanted to know that you were going to make it...to thrive! To survive! What if our surro's body started contractions? Then you would be gone too.

Time dragged. I was depressed. Your Dad was too, but I think he put on a good show for me. He is such a beautiful person.

We didn't want to be negative, but we knew that we would either lose you, or that you would thrive. It was so odd, we were grieving, but yet we were supposed to be celebrating too! It was like twisting us in two directions. We grieved your sibling, and we prayed for your life. You thrived my sweet child...thank God & the blessed Virgin Mary!

...and I shouted it from the rooftops. No matter what, I was going to celebrate this pregnancy, your beautiful life!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Our First Ultrasound Scan.

(February 25/08)

After another endless two week wait we got an email from Dr. Patel.

February 22/08... Our ultrasound scan was in. It's TWINS, TWINS, TWINS...we were ecstatic..two beautiful babies coming.

The following is the email we received from Dr. Patel.


S & the twins are doing fine. scan report attatched. find out.You donot need to send the money in S's account as for that money we have to pay her food bill. All you need to do is send 1,00,000 Rs. From this we shall pay the money and S's incentive, medicine, blood tests, scans etc we shall keep the account & once it is consumed, we will ask for more.

Dr.Nayna Patel

Our Scan.
Twins, intrauterine live pregnancy.
Two GS are seen. Heart Rate's 140 beats per minute.
Fetal pole are seen within both GS and Fetal heart sound is detected in both GS.

What a day! We called Dr. Patel and we were in our glory..God's Glory... amazing!
The first scan was in, and we were having twins. We were so happy.. just thrilled ... thrilled to be Pregnant! Now we can sleep.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Back in the Saddle

(January, 2008)

We were settled with the fact that we were done with surrogacy, and as we stated previously had written and thanked Dr. Patel for everything..and that was it in our minds.

It was over!

About a week later we got an email from Dr. Patel asking us how we were doing, and that she could prepare us for another cycle in January.

Your Father and I were really unsettled this time...maybe scared is the better word...as we told you we tried this once before already Nov/Dec of 2007.

After everything we went through, and a very long two week wait, we learned the transfer didn't take.

We transferred five embryo's, a two day transfer..and nothing took.

We were just devestated!

We were so depressed over the first time, and had decided that we couldn't go through all of it again. We wanted to do it, but were scared to do it.

Financially we had to pay all over again. Thousands of dollars.
What if it failed again?
This was just too painful...just too much!
We just couldn't risk opening our hearts like that again.

However, now it just kept knawing at me... at us.

We started talking about it again. Then we started talking about maybe trying this once more, just once more.

A glimmer of hope!

I talked to Dr. Patel and told her that if we did this again that I wanted blastocysts. She was reluctant about it. I was very insistent about it and even sent her loads of literature and medical documentation on blasts. She said to me, "trust me, just trust me" I said with a huge sigh, "ok, I'll trust you." In my mind I'm thinking, this has to happen.

So in January of 2008 we prepared to try this once again.

Last time when we left India we travelled through Europe so the two week wait was difficult, but nothing compared to what we were going to face this time ...extreme torture!

We ended up transferring four embryo's...let the waiting begin.

Each minute of each day the clock seemed to just tick away so slowly..it just creeped...something I never really paid attention to before.

Finally our results came in..once again no subject in the address bar.
We were terrified to clik on the email. ...but we did!

Congratulation !!!
Your Surrogate has a Positive result. Beta HCG is. Here with attach report.


Dr.Nayna Patel

Oh My God...what a SURPRISE!...we were PREGNANT. We just couldn't believe it...couldn't stop laughing and hugging..and crying. Just every emotion imaginable.

We did it.

Everytime we passed each other in the house we just smiled like two goofy kids. It's like we were sixteen again. Sky High!!!

(Feb. 1/08) Beta HCG numbers were 504.93 Yaay, Yaay!!! I thought WOW ...compared to our failed attempt at minus 2!

We were so excited we called Dr. Patel right away...just couldn't stop laughing...giddy!
Dr. Patel said, "see, I told you to trust me." I am so glad we did!

(Feb. 5/08) Beta Hcg numbers 4267.01 ..Wow! Can you just believe it!

I am great with Beta numbers and I knew this meant multiples!
Once again we were on that phone to Dr. Patel. I said to her that I knew this was multiples..she just chuckled and said in agreement that this very well could be multiples..and we would see on the scan. Oh no, not another wait...I was going to go crazy until we saw the scan.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Let's Get the Ball Rolling!

(November, 2007)

Well we're here! We've been instructed on all medical procedures, what we are supposed to be doing. Can do, can't do, and when we are to do it!

So let's get the ball rolling!

I can honestly tell you that this was extremely stressful for your Dad and I.

We followed Dr. Patel's protocol and now was the infamous wait for our embryo's to grow!
To see how many would survive and be ready for the transfer.

I am not one to wait. I am ..as you will find, sweet child of mine..that your Momma wants everything done now! I am the inquisitive type. I am very patient with my babies, probably too lax on discipline (so I'm told..lol)..but it's the rest of life that I can't wait for.

So waiting to see how many embies would thrive for the transfer was a little challenging for me...Dad too!

Yaay! The wait is over...6 embryo's to transfer. Well that's the most she'll transfer.

Dr. Patel likes to do a two day transfer. I would have preferred blasts, but I didn't question her judgement...yet!

After the notorious two week wait..which could have been much worse, but we travelled through Europe while we waited...really passed the time...we were anxious and excited, but somehow Venice & Rome helped pass the time.

However, the time was approaching and we were starting to get ansy. We just wanted to know! We hovered over the laptop..just waiting for that email.

Well it's here. We were really too nervous to clik on it. The subject line had no news..nothing. So we were going to have to bite the bullet and just find out if we were "preggo".

The anticipation was killing us so we clicked on the email. Your Dad and I crumbled.
We were NOT PREGNANT! ...we cried, and cried. It felt like six of our babies had died.
We were just mortified. Stunned with disbelief. I mean how could this happen. How could you transfer six embryo's and not one implanted?

No, no, no..this just couldn't happen...but it did.
After a while we were just numb...we didn't talk about it anymore...just numb.
We emailed Dr. Patel and thanked her for her kindness, and for everything, and that was that.

It was over...simply over.

Meeting the Patel's

(November, 2007)

Well Sweetheart, we met Dr. Nayna & Dr. Hitesh Patel today
What a wonderful couple they are! We lingered around Dr. Hitesh's office most of the day getting paperwork finished and just chatting. Your Father is quite the gabber and had a great time with Hitesh...me too! They even took your Father and I to their home in Anand for drinks. How kind of them to do this.

Since we were in India before alot of the media got involved there really weren't too many Americans, British, nor Canadians..as we were the first Canadians to jouney to Dr. Patel. Her first Canadian clients. We were surprised.

There was a lovely American couple there. A Doctor and his wife from Maryland...picking up there baby. So we got to see their beautiful little boy. What a doll. It made or trip seem so very hopeful seeing this cute little bundle. Amazing!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Getting to Dr. Patel

(November, 2007)
We flew into Ahmedabad with Jet Airways, a short comfortable flight after an incredible six hour flight with British Airways..we made to London an hour earlier than scheduled. We were thrilled. I Love British Airways!
Anyway, after hours of long flights we settled very comfortably into Le Royal Meridien, Ahmedabad. We crashed for hours, both your Dad and I were just exhausted. We stayed for a couple of nights in Ahmedabad, ate dinner at the hotel, and did alot of shopping. We just had to hit the leather stores..got lot's of Christmas gifts cheap, cheap, cheap!
Ahmedabad is a large city and is easily travelled with rickshaws. You can pretty much buy anything you need there. Once you hit the smaller cities such as Anand you're still fine, but things become much more limited then the larger cities such as Mumbai or Delhi etc.

We took a cab from Ahmedabad to Anand. It took us about an hour and a half to get to Anand. The highway was surprisingly in very good condition. A smooth ride. The traffick was heavy, and the air was still highly polluted with car fumes, but much less then in Ahmedabad. We found it suffocating. They drive pretty wild in India, seems like no rules, only I'll honk and you let me in..lol. Wow so happy to arrive alive!
Anand finally..YaaY!

Well, here we were in Anand, India, known as the Milk Capital of India. What better place to have a baby..lol.
We arrived at our hotel, the Laksh Residency. It wasn't the Ritz by far, but it would have to do for now. Not impressed, but so thankful to have a place to hang our hat so to speak.
We have been in contact with Dr. Patel..she knows we are coming, and is preparing everything for our arrival.
She sounds lovely, and we can't wait to meet her.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Canadian Surrogacy Pioneers..From India with Love

Canadian Pioneers in Surrogacy, India. (August, 2007)

Wow, if someone had told me a few years ago that hubby and I would be travelling to India for a child via Surrogate Mother..I would have said, "are you NUTS?".

First of all, I'm a FERTILE MERTILE!..or I was until my Doctor discovered some abnormal cells on my cervix. I thought..no,no,no..not me! Cervical Cancer...What?

I remember my legs shaking with fear, terrified for my future. I had two gorgeous kids. Would they have a Mom? My husband hugged me close, thoughtful of him.

The Doctor said that I had options. They could Laser my cervix, or do something called a cone. I was so scared, plus I already had two beautiful children. I mean I was done having children ...right???

I decided to have a hysterectomy.

When I woke up from the surgery, my Oncologist told me that I was too young at 37 to have a full hysterectomy and that to my surprise he saved my ovaries. He said that I was going to need them for a very long time. I'm certain at that time he nor I was thinking of this!

Life is funny. Who knew that I would have all of this on my plate. Who knew I would leave my husband months later. So much pain..but then that's a whole other story!

Back on track! I am certainly not the only woman this has happened to, but I was so fortunate to have my children, your sister and brother, when there are so many other women out there crying to hold a child, their child.

I had no idea of ferility issues. Never really thought about it, or paid attention to it. How narrow sighted of me! I had no idea that I would be facing this very issue, ... this torment, myself!

I was adamant on NEVER marrying again...and along came him! The one that doesn't take no for an answer, pursues you like a pitbull...but is a real sweetheart..a good man.
Your Father!

Now in my 40's and happily remarried, hubby, your father, desperately wanted a child with me. I'm going like, "are you kidding. I am too old and my eggs are toast!"

Just to passify your father I went to my Doctor and had all of my levels checked.

When I went back to get my test results I said, "alright Doctor, I know my eggs are toast but I just want my numbers"...expecting something like a 25, or a 37, or higher, and full well knowing that I could go home and explain to your Dad that this was just not going to happen..

Instead, something did happen. Something so unexpected.

As my Doctor seemed to smirk at me, he slid my test results across his desk to me.

I looked at my results and in total shock just kept saying "Oh My God, Oh My God". I just couldn't stop saying it. My FSH level was 7, and all of my other levels were excellent too.

He wrote across my paperwork, NOT MENOPAUSAL. So here I was STILL a FERTILE MERTILE...but I had, had my uterus removed. So I couldn't carry you, my child.

At that moment I wished so badly that I had made such a different decision and had my cervix lazered when I had the chance.

In the meantime I had watched your father become increasingly down. Seemed like he was sinking into a depression..and knowing me, I'll do anything to try and make my man, your father, happy!

I started checking into options. Interestingly enough besides adoption and surrogacy, science had actually brought a baby to 6 months with a uterus transplant. How amazing! How amazing this will be for women in the future.

The baby died, which made me morn for this little child who was being used as an experiment.

How beautiful it would have been to see this child flourish.

Rest in peace little one. Heaven was given an angel that day. (Just breaks my heart).

I think in our future lies many amazing breakthroughs. One being that when we sign our Organ Donor cards, it will include a woman's uterus.

The idea being to transplant the uterus, deliver a healthy child, and remove the transplanted uterus at the time of delivery.

Yes, amazing breakthroughs.

Anyway, it's not something that I will see in my fertile days..or semi-fertile days as is the case for me now.

Back to my loving, depressed hubby, Your fabulous Father.

We had already tried adoption in Canada, but were told because we weren't married five years yet that we couldn't...can you believe that? So many children needing loving homes that we couldn't.

They begged us to come back, and to stay in touch. Red Tape! How sad.

So we turned to International adoption. Excited, I had most of our paperwork filled out pretty quick. We were number 7/8 on the waiting list..YaaY..what could go wrong..right???

China's adoption list had grown to a 3-5 year waitlist, and all of these childless couples, waiting, decided to jump over to our country, Kazakhstan.

We were crushed. Since our paperwork wasn't in yet we ended up waitlisted under all of these other couples.

During all of this time I had been researching, and contacting Surrogates in the United States. I didn't really focus on Canada too much as law states you are not allowed to compensate the surrogate. So try and find a surrogate. It's not easy. There were some surrogates that I spoke with, but they wanted too much involvment in our child's life after the birth. I kinda wanted severed ties. Not that I am heartless, but you are our child, and I would always think of this woman as an angel, but preferred an angel from afar.

An article that I read about a Surrogate in India who carried twins for her own daughter kept peeking my interest. Plus with the dollar exchange between countries it was much more affordable for us, and yet because of the that dollar exchange it would make this woman, our Surrogate a wealthy woman in her country. Seemed like a win, win situation for both.

Dr. Nayna Patel's name kept coming up. This seemed so unreal, and so far away. Was this an unrealistic mission? Would it prove fruitful?

Hubby and I talked it over, arranged for our Indian Visa's, hopped on a plane and were on our way to India to speak to Dr. Patel about having our child, you, via surrogacy in Anand, India.

Known as "milk country".

We flew into Mumbai and then into Ahmedabad, India. Wow, what a huge culture shock!

We knew India was a third world country, very poor, but we were saddened by the extreme poverty in most areas of this country. The airport in Ahmedabad was very simple, plain, no air conditioning, not much of anything. Then we didn't need much did we? Just a way to get you, beautiful you!

What a tall order!

We managed the never ending traffick, honking, camels and cows lying all over the sides of the road, the language barrier, the stares...we managed it all.

Our mission was turning into a journey. What a long journey it was to be.

A journey for you little one. Whatever it took.

So first we had to get to Dr. Patel.