Saturday, May 2, 2009

Canadian Surrogacy Pioneers..From India with Love

Canadian Pioneers in Surrogacy, India. (August, 2007)

Wow, if someone had told me a few years ago that hubby and I would be travelling to India for a child via Surrogate Mother..I would have said, "are you NUTS?".

First of all, I'm a FERTILE MERTILE!..or I was until my Doctor discovered some abnormal cells on my cervix. I,no,no..not me! Cervical Cancer...What?

I remember my legs shaking with fear, terrified for my future. I had two gorgeous kids. Would they have a Mom? My husband hugged me close, thoughtful of him.

The Doctor said that I had options. They could Laser my cervix, or do something called a cone. I was so scared, plus I already had two beautiful children. I mean I was done having children ...right???

I decided to have a hysterectomy.

When I woke up from the surgery, my Oncologist told me that I was too young at 37 to have a full hysterectomy and that to my surprise he saved my ovaries. He said that I was going to need them for a very long time. I'm certain at that time he nor I was thinking of this!

Life is funny. Who knew that I would have all of this on my plate. Who knew I would leave my husband months later. So much pain..but then that's a whole other story!

Back on track! I am certainly not the only woman this has happened to, but I was so fortunate to have my children, your sister and brother, when there are so many other women out there crying to hold a child, their child.

I had no idea of ferility issues. Never really thought about it, or paid attention to it. How narrow sighted of me! I had no idea that I would be facing this very issue, ... this torment, myself!

I was adamant on NEVER marrying again...and along came him! The one that doesn't take no for an answer, pursues you like a pitbull...but is a real sweetheart..a good man.
Your Father!

Now in my 40's and happily remarried, hubby, your father, desperately wanted a child with me. I'm going like, "are you kidding. I am too old and my eggs are toast!"

Just to passify your father I went to my Doctor and had all of my levels checked.

When I went back to get my test results I said, "alright Doctor, I know my eggs are toast but I just want my numbers"...expecting something like a 25, or a 37, or higher, and full well knowing that I could go home and explain to your Dad that this was just not going to happen..

Instead, something did happen. Something so unexpected.

As my Doctor seemed to smirk at me, he slid my test results across his desk to me.

I looked at my results and in total shock just kept saying "Oh My God, Oh My God". I just couldn't stop saying it. My FSH level was 7, and all of my other levels were excellent too.

He wrote across my paperwork, NOT MENOPAUSAL. So here I was STILL a FERTILE MERTILE...but I had, had my uterus removed. So I couldn't carry you, my child.

At that moment I wished so badly that I had made such a different decision and had my cervix lazered when I had the chance.

In the meantime I had watched your father become increasingly down. Seemed like he was sinking into a depression..and knowing me, I'll do anything to try and make my man, your father, happy!

I started checking into options. Interestingly enough besides adoption and surrogacy, science had actually brought a baby to 6 months with a uterus transplant. How amazing! How amazing this will be for women in the future.

The baby died, which made me morn for this little child who was being used as an experiment.

How beautiful it would have been to see this child flourish.

Rest in peace little one. Heaven was given an angel that day. (Just breaks my heart).

I think in our future lies many amazing breakthroughs. One being that when we sign our Organ Donor cards, it will include a woman's uterus.

The idea being to transplant the uterus, deliver a healthy child, and remove the transplanted uterus at the time of delivery.

Yes, amazing breakthroughs.

Anyway, it's not something that I will see in my fertile days..or semi-fertile days as is the case for me now.

Back to my loving, depressed hubby, Your fabulous Father.

We had already tried adoption in Canada, but were told because we weren't married five years yet that we couldn't...can you believe that? So many children needing loving homes that we couldn't.

They begged us to come back, and to stay in touch. Red Tape! How sad.

So we turned to International adoption. Excited, I had most of our paperwork filled out pretty quick. We were number 7/8 on the waiting list..YaaY..what could go wrong..right???

China's adoption list had grown to a 3-5 year waitlist, and all of these childless couples, waiting, decided to jump over to our country, Kazakhstan.

We were crushed. Since our paperwork wasn't in yet we ended up waitlisted under all of these other couples.

During all of this time I had been researching, and contacting Surrogates in the United States. I didn't really focus on Canada too much as law states you are not allowed to compensate the surrogate. So try and find a surrogate. It's not easy. There were some surrogates that I spoke with, but they wanted too much involvment in our child's life after the birth. I kinda wanted severed ties. Not that I am heartless, but you are our child, and I would always think of this woman as an angel, but preferred an angel from afar.

An article that I read about a Surrogate in India who carried twins for her own daughter kept peeking my interest. Plus with the dollar exchange between countries it was much more affordable for us, and yet because of the that dollar exchange it would make this woman, our Surrogate a wealthy woman in her country. Seemed like a win, win situation for both.

Dr. Nayna Patel's name kept coming up. This seemed so unreal, and so far away. Was this an unrealistic mission? Would it prove fruitful?

Hubby and I talked it over, arranged for our Indian Visa's, hopped on a plane and were on our way to India to speak to Dr. Patel about having our child, you, via surrogacy in Anand, India.

Known as "milk country".

We flew into Mumbai and then into Ahmedabad, India. Wow, what a huge culture shock!

We knew India was a third world country, very poor, but we were saddened by the extreme poverty in most areas of this country. The airport in Ahmedabad was very simple, plain, no air conditioning, not much of anything. Then we didn't need much did we? Just a way to get you, beautiful you!

What a tall order!

We managed the never ending traffick, honking, camels and cows lying all over the sides of the road, the language barrier, the stares...we managed it all.

Our mission was turning into a journey. What a long journey it was to be.

A journey for you little one. Whatever it took.

So first we had to get to Dr. Patel.


  1. Beautiful story! Thanks for sharing.

  2. Thanks, for sharing your journey. We too have a journal to give our kids one day, about our trip to Anand, India. Reading your stories brings back all of the memories that we shared. I think it is about time for us to start our journal again.