Monday, October 4, 2010

The Clock is Ticking.....

(August 10, 2008)

Well, the clock is ticking sweet child, and time is moving swiftly as we await your arrival! I received a letter from a couple who we've become very close to, and a wealth of information and research for each other! It's funny because we've taken this journey together, and yet we've never even met! Your father and I started this journey so long ago, Dr. Patel's first Canadian clients, but our friends wrote us today that they had just arrived in India at 4am and their twin baby girls were born prematurely, but healthy. Thank God! Wow, they almost missed their babies birth, but fate stepped in and kindly let them be there! They are just thrilled, and we are thrilled for them!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Soon Baby, Soon!

(Sunday, August 10, 2008)

Well Sweetipie, Momma was planning on flying in to be with you early! To bond with you! To feel you, feel you kick, and sing my special lullaby to you! Play your siblings music box to you! Momma's coming baby doll ... soon!

I was hoping to come to you early, to have you hear my voice! I have been told that S doesn't want that! Even though we got her a cellphone, and prayed we could call her so she could hold the phone to her that you could hear Mommy & Daddy's voices, but she doesn't want that. Not even a phonecall! That really broke my heart! So I'm coming baby.

I was planning on flying to India with another couple, and your Father would meet me later, but my Mother was becoming very upset at the thought of me leaving early, and flying into India alone! Well my sweet, you'll find out very soon that Momma has a very strong mind of her own, and I usually do what I want when I want! Not this time! I just couldn't worry your Grandmother like that. She's amazing'll find that out! She can't wait to meet you!

So I've decided to behave and wait for your Dad. Hopefully all goes well. I hate being away from you! However, it is August, and you are due in October. It won't be long now! I did write Dr. Patel with even more questions

Hello Dr. Patel,

We will be arriving in Ahmedabad on September 23rd. Do you have an apartment ready for us that night of Sept 23rd? Is this a good date? Do you think S will deliver early? We don't want to miss the delivery.

Is it an air conditioned apartment? How much do you charge for the apartment per month?

We would like the apartment that Dr. Hitesh showed us the is in the gated community, with security. We did not get to see the inside to see how big it is.

Is there a crib in the apartment for the baby?

If we decide to share the apartment with another couple, how many bedrooms and how many bathrooms are in the apartment?

If the apartment is too small I don't think we want to share with anyone.

I would like S to use a breast pump to use her milk for the baby's immune system. Yes, I will bring bottles. How many bottles should I bring?

Can we buy baby clothes there, or should I bring them from Canada?

You said that I could be in the delivery room for the birth. Will the baby be handed to me or to S?

It is getting very close to the birth. Can you tell me if the baby is a girl or a boy? We both don't care...and we just want a healthy baby, but we just wondered since it is so close if you could tell us?

Anyway, I hope you had a wonderful weekend...and I hope you have some time to take a break for yourself. What would any of us do without you? You are an angel sent from God.

With Warm Regards

I wasn't expecting some of the answers that I got!


Well we can not guarantee that appartment for you so you have to think of alternative arrangement - may be a hotel.

We will ask S if she is ready to give breast milk.

The baby will be handed over to you.

As of now she does not see to go for early delivery.

...that was it! I didn't think that Dr. Patel would tell me if you are a little boy or a little girl! It's against Indian Law to do so, but I am pretty sure I know already!

Wow, I am just thrilled that you will be handed to me, after all, I am your Mother!
I will always love S for carrying you for me! What a beautiful selfless act she has done for me. I know her life will prosper with the gifts she has received from us. What an amazing exchange of Love we have given to each other!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Siblings Birthday Luck!

(July 31, 2008)

Well Baby Doll, we're heading around the bend, or over the hump as they say! Or your cute baby bump!

We celebrated your Sibling's birthday yesterday, and I think that brought you some good luck! Fabulous news!

We saw your scan today and everything is just fine! YaaY!!!!

Your beautiful heart rate was 150 BPM. Renal Pylectasis is extremely dominant in little boys. Your Dad and I are just thrilled that it has cleared. Your ultrasound scan was just perfect, and even though the fluid in your Renal Pelvis is completely cleared, combined with your heart rate, I just know you're a boy! I keep telling your Dad that..he just smiles. I know he is secretly hoping you're a boy! As they say, "Momma knows best, lol"

In all honesty, we just want you happy & healthy, little boy or little girl.


Single fetus, Cephalic presentation

Anterior placenta, no previa Gr. 1.

Fetal growth & AF normal

No fetal malformation

Follow up at 36 weeks

I Love looking at your scans! I Love looking at you, sweet child of mine!

Money is NO Object..Baby--Priceless!

(July 21, 2008)
Prior to leaving for Anand, we received an email asking if we would like to pay $125 USD for a Baby Shower for our Surrogate. This kind of hit us like a bomb. I am NOT proud of how we reacted to this request, but such is life. You cannot turn back time, only place a positive where there was a negative..a Big Boo Boo on our part!

The following is the email we received!


I want to ask you if you would like to do a baby shower ceremony over here. We do it at the surrogate house in the 7th months.
The whole event costs about 125 USD i.e. 5000 Rs.
This is done according to Hindu ritual, where in a priest performs the ceremony prays for the safe baby delivery for mother & child both. The inmates of Surrogate house will have a nice lunch your surrogate & other surrogates receive gifts. This whole can be done in total 125 USD if you agree to it let me know.


Dr.Nayna Patel

Here was our answer to this request..."not one of our proudest moments!"

Dear Dr. Patel,

My wife just showed me your email about a Baby Shower for our Surrogate. We don't think that S needs a baby shower.
We will pray for S and the baby, and we pray God will watch over her and the baby, and all of us.
My wife is the Mother of our child, not our Surrogate.
I believe you counsel these women not to become attached to our child. Don't you think a baby shower contradicts this? Do you really think this is wise?
$125 USD or 5000 Rupees is very expensive for the Surrogate's and I can't imagine that this is done on a normal basis. They could not afford this extra money, and neither can we.
We have given her many gifts now plus gifts of money.
We are not allowed to talk to her as per her you must understand this is very hard on us, and very isolating.

We paid double the money, that you asked for when we were having Twins...very shortly after we paid this money, one of our Twins died.

We should have alot of money left over in our account with you, since this is a single pregnancy now, but we have paid double.
We also paid for the first conception that failed. Paid all funds over again toward the second transfer, for a positive pregnancy.

So far in total with, your prices, flights, hotels, food, cell phone, fee and extra incentives of 2000 rupees to the first surrogate S, which didn't work. Then we paid extra for life insurance. We still have delivery and meds costs. So far this is costing us almost $40,000 USD. These prices are much higher then we expected. They are becoming very competitive to doing this in Canada. We appreciate everything you are doing for us...and everything you have done for us. We are appreciative of your knowledge and expertise in your field. We are very happy that we are having a baby.
You gave us a date to do this again for another baby, which we will need our money to do this again.
Please respect that we have paid enough, and our custom in Canada is the baby shower is not paid for by the Mother, which is my wife.
Best Regards.

OMG, I felt so guilty and horrible after this letter. Dr. Patel's response was very -- chilly. We should have known better than to upset her! Especially on the principal of money. It wasn't even thousands! It was $125 dollars for heaven sake! What the hell were we thinking?
I got on the computer and my fingers just flew. I begged her for forgiveness, and explained that we didn't realize how this was a sacred ritual, and that we needed our surrogate to have a Baby Shower along with the rest of the surrogate's. That we understood how important this was.
Needless to say, "don't piss off Dr. Patel!" She is an angel, but a stubborn

She replied, "No, there wouldn't be a Baby Shower for your Surrogate!"
I had to write her two more emails begging her to please reconsider, and do this for me, and for our Surrogate. We were wrong, and didn't understand India's customs, but we did now. We know that our Surrogate must be blessed by the Priest. This now became very important to me. I didn't want our surrogate to be the only surrogate who's Intended Parent's were the only "idiots" who didn't let her have a baby shower! It was a little party and ritual for her. A special day for her, so what was the big deal? The principal of paying $125 USD? Who cares? Really! It was the "Principle" of a little bit of money, which we could easily afford. For God sake, what were we thinking? This woman was carrying our child!
Anyway, the third email was the charm. Dr. Patel did have a party for "S", and we were happy. I was happy. No, I was thrilled and relieved! I vowed we would never disagree over money again. I didn't care what it cost! Our child is PRICELESS!

Friday, August 7, 2009

Getting Ready for Reality!

(July 17, 2008)

Well, our sweet child, your Mom & Dad are getting prepared to come to India for your delivery. I am planning on flying in earlier then your Father to bond with you.

I have your brother's music box to play repeatedly for you. I have my special little lullaby that I used to sing to your siblings that would amazingly calm them. Your suitcase is packed..mine isn't

Hopefully our Surrogate is happy with having me under foot 24/ I doubt it! ..and maybe not quite 24/7. I want to fly in and get a home in a gated community prepareing for your arrival. Hitesh showed us a unit during our initial visit that looked just fine. A home that would be quite comfortable for all of us, at least until we got you home. I had no idea at the time how much I would kiss the ground of our own home.
Yes, home sweet home & there's no place like it, and so on, and so on!

I was thrilled to see alot of security on the grounds. It was like this little Shangri-la away from all of the hustle and bustle of Anand. A sanctuary that I would be happy to live in until we could come home. The town houses were all painted white, with concrete walkways, lovely flowers, fresh air, and sweet, sweet solitude. This would suit me just fine!

Your Dad and I were hoping so badly that we wouldn't have to stay a lengthy time, and that we wouldn't be required to undergo DNA testing. I mean the Doctor's paperwork & word was enough right? Plus U. S. couples didn't have to go through DNA testing and were usually in and out in just two or three weeks. We shouldn't be too far off!

I wrote to Dr. Patel asking her some questions regarding her thoughts on time frames, the accommodations etc. Her reply sent us into somewhat of a bit of a tail spin.


1/ The expected date is 6th October please come here by 20th September
2/ As long as you get visas for the babies you have to stay - may be 3 months.
3/ If the baby is ok, you can take her in 2 days with you
4/ Paperwork and DNA is in Delhi.
5/ The townhouse is air-conditioned housed will you share house with another Canadian couple?
This way you will have company share the cost.

Dr.Nayna Patel

1/ The first thing that made our hair stand on end was "a stay maybe 3 months!" What the Frickin Frack was that??? 3 MONTHS! No Frickin Frackin WAY....
2/ Taking YOU to our sanctuary in 2 days sounded great to me!
3/ Going to Delhi was alright, even though we had been dealing with a very kind, helpful man in Mumbai, and when we had dealt with Delhi they were a bunch of "cold fish!" Not Impressed!!!
4/ What about our "sanctuary!" "Our Shangri-la." Not that we minded sharing with someone else since we didn't want to leave anyone out in the to speak..especially in India! However, we were expecting to have this house to ourselves. How would this other couple feel about sharing a home...with everyone's screaming babies. eeeeek!

Your Dad and I talked everything over. Having someone with us would be nice as long as the house was big. The company actually would be great. I would feel alot safer that way. If we ended up there 3 months, then so be it. It wasn't what we wanted, but whatever is going to be!

At least we knew what to look forward to, and we were a little more educated about what was going to happen.

We needed to stay focused and just move forward. Next stop, India!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Scanned again!

(June 13, 2008)

After these scans I emailed Dr. Patel and even spoke to the Doctor who does the Sonograms about your conditon. They both reasurred me that you were fine. Everything else is good, and your beautiful little heartbeat is at 148 bpm. However, I am still researching this, little one.


S is fine & staying at surrogate house Nadiad with Nirmala nurse.

Mild pelviccetesis of kidney is not of any significance.

We will follow up her scan on 30th July.

Even the fetal medicine specialist said that ignore this finding.

Dr. Nayna Patel

I am somewhat relieved after this email and speaking with the Doctor's directly. However, nobody can actually tell what the outcome will be. I am saying my prayer's this clears on its own and that you will be fine.

I also came across an excellent forum that was strictly on this topic. Alot of people had already had their babies and wrote back to say that their baby was very healthy and that this cleared on its own. Their was maybe one or two that it didn't...out of hundreds on this forum. So I am not sighing yet...not quite yet.

(July 1, 2008)
Our updated Scan report came in. Scan Report (June 30th, 2008).

A Live Pregnancy. Single Fetus.
Mild Fullness of both Renal Pelvis, No dialation of calices.
RT - renal pelvis - 4.1 mm. Lt. - renal pelvis 5.2 mm.
Possiblility of Physiological or extrarenal type renal pelvis.
Normal Amniotic fluid. UB is well seen & not dialated.

Now both renal pelvis' have fluid. Your Dad and I are so worried about you. This is not the news we were hoping for. We thought this might have cleared, not gotten worse. I'm a wreck absolute wreck!
All we can do is wait now & pray that this changes for the good. A clear scan would make me happy.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

A Whole New Story!

(June 12, 2008)

Well May was GREAT! No news is good news...right?
On June 11th you had another ultrasound scan done.
We received it on June 12th.
All was good on it until I read the bottom..."the comment" box.

Mild Pelviectesis of left kidney noted.
Follow up at 34 weeks.

Something gutwrenching hit my stomach. Mild Pelviectasis!
All I could see was something wrong with your kidney. Fluid on the pelvis of his kidney, at least mild at this point! This was not the time to be negative. It was mild so that was good! It normally fixes itself before birth and doesn't become a problem. Or it could get worse, and once you are born there would be a pending surgery..or worse. We tried to stay positive and just see what happens.
(Pelviectasis or Fetal pelviectasis or pyelectasis typically consists of a mild enlargement of the central area, or “pelvis,” of the kidney. It's when a tube from the kidney gets kinked.) It ususally corrects itself. Praying it does.

We were worried sick though...not kidney problems. Not our little baby! All we could do was watch for the next scan..and wait! I tried not to think about it..yeah right! I couldn't wait for the next scan to see if it had cleared on its own.

One thing I did know was that Renal Pylectasis is extremely dominant in little boys ...and since Indian Law prevents the Doctor from telling Parents if it is a boy or girl ... I didn't need the Doctor to tell me now...pretty sure you are a boy. However, little girls get this too, so I couldn't be positive.
I was pretty sure though. Oh, and by the way little sweetheart, your heartrate on this scan was 132 bpm...also indicitive of a little boy. I was pretty convinced. I told your Dad what I thought...he chuckled..he thinks your Mom is pretty funny!

I will tell you that we will be thrilled for a little boy, or a little girl ... just as long as you're healthy!

I tried to keep busy, just not to think ... I must not be busy enough because I just couldn't stop thinking about it.
It's just that it's so hard not being near you, feeling you kick, thousands of miles away from you. So extremely isolating! I was ready to hop on the next plane.