Sunday, May 31, 2009

Back in the Saddle

(January, 2008)

We were settled with the fact that we were done with surrogacy, and as we stated previously had written and thanked Dr. Patel for everything..and that was it in our minds.

It was over!

About a week later we got an email from Dr. Patel asking us how we were doing, and that she could prepare us for another cycle in January.

Your Father and I were really unsettled this time...maybe scared is the better we told you we tried this once before already Nov/Dec of 2007.

After everything we went through, and a very long two week wait, we learned the transfer didn't take.

We transferred five embryo's, a two day transfer..and nothing took.

We were just devestated!

We were so depressed over the first time, and had decided that we couldn't go through all of it again. We wanted to do it, but were scared to do it.

Financially we had to pay all over again. Thousands of dollars.
What if it failed again?
This was just too painful...just too much!
We just couldn't risk opening our hearts like that again.

However, now it just kept knawing at me... at us.

We started talking about it again. Then we started talking about maybe trying this once more, just once more.

A glimmer of hope!

I talked to Dr. Patel and told her that if we did this again that I wanted blastocysts. She was reluctant about it. I was very insistent about it and even sent her loads of literature and medical documentation on blasts. She said to me, "trust me, just trust me" I said with a huge sigh, "ok, I'll trust you." In my mind I'm thinking, this has to happen.

So in January of 2008 we prepared to try this once again.

Last time when we left India we travelled through Europe so the two week wait was difficult, but nothing compared to what we were going to face this time ...extreme torture!

We ended up transferring four embryo's...let the waiting begin.

Each minute of each day the clock seemed to just tick away so just creeped...something I never really paid attention to before.

Finally our results came in..once again no subject in the address bar.
We were terrified to clik on the email. ...but we did!

Congratulation !!!
Your Surrogate has a Positive result. Beta HCG is. Here with attach report.


Dr.Nayna Patel

Oh My God...what a SURPRISE!...we were PREGNANT. We just couldn't believe it...couldn't stop laughing and hugging..and crying. Just every emotion imaginable.

We did it.

Everytime we passed each other in the house we just smiled like two goofy kids. It's like we were sixteen again. Sky High!!!

(Feb. 1/08) Beta HCG numbers were 504.93 Yaay, Yaay!!! I thought WOW ...compared to our failed attempt at minus 2!

We were so excited we called Dr. Patel right away...just couldn't stop laughing...giddy!
Dr. Patel said, "see, I told you to trust me." I am so glad we did!

(Feb. 5/08) Beta Hcg numbers 4267.01 ..Wow! Can you just believe it!

I am great with Beta numbers and I knew this meant multiples!
Once again we were on that phone to Dr. Patel. I said to her that I knew this was multiples..she just chuckled and said in agreement that this very well could be multiples..and we would see on the scan. Oh no, not another wait...I was going to go crazy until we saw the scan.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Let's Get the Ball Rolling!

(November, 2007)

Well we're here! We've been instructed on all medical procedures, what we are supposed to be doing. Can do, can't do, and when we are to do it!

So let's get the ball rolling!

I can honestly tell you that this was extremely stressful for your Dad and I.

We followed Dr. Patel's protocol and now was the infamous wait for our embryo's to grow!
To see how many would survive and be ready for the transfer.

I am not one to wait. I am you will find, sweet child of mine..that your Momma wants everything done now! I am the inquisitive type. I am very patient with my babies, probably too lax on discipline (so I'm it's the rest of life that I can't wait for.

So waiting to see how many embies would thrive for the transfer was a little challenging for me...Dad too!

Yaay! The wait is over...6 embryo's to transfer. Well that's the most she'll transfer.

Dr. Patel likes to do a two day transfer. I would have preferred blasts, but I didn't question her judgement...yet!

After the notorious two week wait..which could have been much worse, but we travelled through Europe while we waited...really passed the time...we were anxious and excited, but somehow Venice & Rome helped pass the time.

However, the time was approaching and we were starting to get ansy. We just wanted to know! We hovered over the laptop..just waiting for that email.

Well it's here. We were really too nervous to clik on it. The subject line had no news..nothing. So we were going to have to bite the bullet and just find out if we were "preggo".

The anticipation was killing us so we clicked on the email. Your Dad and I crumbled.
We were NOT PREGNANT! ...we cried, and cried. It felt like six of our babies had died.
We were just mortified. Stunned with disbelief. I mean how could this happen. How could you transfer six embryo's and not one implanted?

No, no, no..this just couldn't happen...but it did.
After a while we were just numb...we didn't talk about it anymore...just numb.
We emailed Dr. Patel and thanked her for her kindness, and for everything, and that was that.

It was over...simply over.

Meeting the Patel's

(November, 2007)

Well Sweetheart, we met Dr. Nayna & Dr. Hitesh Patel today
What a wonderful couple they are! We lingered around Dr. Hitesh's office most of the day getting paperwork finished and just chatting. Your Father is quite the gabber and had a great time with too! They even took your Father and I to their home in Anand for drinks. How kind of them to do this.

Since we were in India before alot of the media got involved there really weren't too many Americans, British, nor we were the first Canadians to jouney to Dr. Patel. Her first Canadian clients. We were surprised.

There was a lovely American couple there. A Doctor and his wife from Maryland...picking up there baby. So we got to see their beautiful little boy. What a doll. It made or trip seem so very hopeful seeing this cute little bundle. Amazing!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Getting to Dr. Patel

(November, 2007)
We flew into Ahmedabad with Jet Airways, a short comfortable flight after an incredible six hour flight with British Airways..we made to London an hour earlier than scheduled. We were thrilled. I Love British Airways!
Anyway, after hours of long flights we settled very comfortably into Le Royal Meridien, Ahmedabad. We crashed for hours, both your Dad and I were just exhausted. We stayed for a couple of nights in Ahmedabad, ate dinner at the hotel, and did alot of shopping. We just had to hit the leather lot's of Christmas gifts cheap, cheap, cheap!
Ahmedabad is a large city and is easily travelled with rickshaws. You can pretty much buy anything you need there. Once you hit the smaller cities such as Anand you're still fine, but things become much more limited then the larger cities such as Mumbai or Delhi etc.

We took a cab from Ahmedabad to Anand. It took us about an hour and a half to get to Anand. The highway was surprisingly in very good condition. A smooth ride. The traffick was heavy, and the air was still highly polluted with car fumes, but much less then in Ahmedabad. We found it suffocating. They drive pretty wild in India, seems like no rules, only I'll honk and you let me Wow so happy to arrive alive!
Anand finally..YaaY!

Well, here we were in Anand, India, known as the Milk Capital of India. What better place to have a
We arrived at our hotel, the Laksh Residency. It wasn't the Ritz by far, but it would have to do for now. Not impressed, but so thankful to have a place to hang our hat so to speak.
We have been in contact with Dr. Patel..she knows we are coming, and is preparing everything for our arrival.
She sounds lovely, and we can't wait to meet her.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Canadian Surrogacy Pioneers..From India with Love

Canadian Pioneers in Surrogacy, India. (August, 2007)

Wow, if someone had told me a few years ago that hubby and I would be travelling to India for a child via Surrogate Mother..I would have said, "are you NUTS?".

First of all, I'm a FERTILE MERTILE!..or I was until my Doctor discovered some abnormal cells on my cervix. I,no,no..not me! Cervical Cancer...What?

I remember my legs shaking with fear, terrified for my future. I had two gorgeous kids. Would they have a Mom? My husband hugged me close, thoughtful of him.

The Doctor said that I had options. They could Laser my cervix, or do something called a cone. I was so scared, plus I already had two beautiful children. I mean I was done having children ...right???

I decided to have a hysterectomy.

When I woke up from the surgery, my Oncologist told me that I was too young at 37 to have a full hysterectomy and that to my surprise he saved my ovaries. He said that I was going to need them for a very long time. I'm certain at that time he nor I was thinking of this!

Life is funny. Who knew that I would have all of this on my plate. Who knew I would leave my husband months later. So much pain..but then that's a whole other story!

Back on track! I am certainly not the only woman this has happened to, but I was so fortunate to have my children, your sister and brother, when there are so many other women out there crying to hold a child, their child.

I had no idea of ferility issues. Never really thought about it, or paid attention to it. How narrow sighted of me! I had no idea that I would be facing this very issue, ... this torment, myself!

I was adamant on NEVER marrying again...and along came him! The one that doesn't take no for an answer, pursues you like a pitbull...but is a real sweetheart..a good man.
Your Father!

Now in my 40's and happily remarried, hubby, your father, desperately wanted a child with me. I'm going like, "are you kidding. I am too old and my eggs are toast!"

Just to passify your father I went to my Doctor and had all of my levels checked.

When I went back to get my test results I said, "alright Doctor, I know my eggs are toast but I just want my numbers"...expecting something like a 25, or a 37, or higher, and full well knowing that I could go home and explain to your Dad that this was just not going to happen..

Instead, something did happen. Something so unexpected.

As my Doctor seemed to smirk at me, he slid my test results across his desk to me.

I looked at my results and in total shock just kept saying "Oh My God, Oh My God". I just couldn't stop saying it. My FSH level was 7, and all of my other levels were excellent too.

He wrote across my paperwork, NOT MENOPAUSAL. So here I was STILL a FERTILE MERTILE...but I had, had my uterus removed. So I couldn't carry you, my child.

At that moment I wished so badly that I had made such a different decision and had my cervix lazered when I had the chance.

In the meantime I had watched your father become increasingly down. Seemed like he was sinking into a depression..and knowing me, I'll do anything to try and make my man, your father, happy!

I started checking into options. Interestingly enough besides adoption and surrogacy, science had actually brought a baby to 6 months with a uterus transplant. How amazing! How amazing this will be for women in the future.

The baby died, which made me morn for this little child who was being used as an experiment.

How beautiful it would have been to see this child flourish.

Rest in peace little one. Heaven was given an angel that day. (Just breaks my heart).

I think in our future lies many amazing breakthroughs. One being that when we sign our Organ Donor cards, it will include a woman's uterus.

The idea being to transplant the uterus, deliver a healthy child, and remove the transplanted uterus at the time of delivery.

Yes, amazing breakthroughs.

Anyway, it's not something that I will see in my fertile days..or semi-fertile days as is the case for me now.

Back to my loving, depressed hubby, Your fabulous Father.

We had already tried adoption in Canada, but were told because we weren't married five years yet that we couldn't...can you believe that? So many children needing loving homes that we couldn't.

They begged us to come back, and to stay in touch. Red Tape! How sad.

So we turned to International adoption. Excited, I had most of our paperwork filled out pretty quick. We were number 7/8 on the waiting list..YaaY..what could go wrong..right???

China's adoption list had grown to a 3-5 year waitlist, and all of these childless couples, waiting, decided to jump over to our country, Kazakhstan.

We were crushed. Since our paperwork wasn't in yet we ended up waitlisted under all of these other couples.

During all of this time I had been researching, and contacting Surrogates in the United States. I didn't really focus on Canada too much as law states you are not allowed to compensate the surrogate. So try and find a surrogate. It's not easy. There were some surrogates that I spoke with, but they wanted too much involvment in our child's life after the birth. I kinda wanted severed ties. Not that I am heartless, but you are our child, and I would always think of this woman as an angel, but preferred an angel from afar.

An article that I read about a Surrogate in India who carried twins for her own daughter kept peeking my interest. Plus with the dollar exchange between countries it was much more affordable for us, and yet because of the that dollar exchange it would make this woman, our Surrogate a wealthy woman in her country. Seemed like a win, win situation for both.

Dr. Nayna Patel's name kept coming up. This seemed so unreal, and so far away. Was this an unrealistic mission? Would it prove fruitful?

Hubby and I talked it over, arranged for our Indian Visa's, hopped on a plane and were on our way to India to speak to Dr. Patel about having our child, you, via surrogacy in Anand, India.

Known as "milk country".

We flew into Mumbai and then into Ahmedabad, India. Wow, what a huge culture shock!

We knew India was a third world country, very poor, but we were saddened by the extreme poverty in most areas of this country. The airport in Ahmedabad was very simple, plain, no air conditioning, not much of anything. Then we didn't need much did we? Just a way to get you, beautiful you!

What a tall order!

We managed the never ending traffick, honking, camels and cows lying all over the sides of the road, the language barrier, the stares...we managed it all.

Our mission was turning into a journey. What a long journey it was to be.

A journey for you little one. Whatever it took.

So first we had to get to Dr. Patel.